Dreams Drive us….. Doodles?

Posted on April 15, 2012


While trying to come up with a witty name for this post, I was trying to reconnect with my Harry Potter routes, and find three D’s (Destination, Determination, Deliberation). But, the only words starting with a D that I could come up with were “dirty” and “doodle”. I went with doodle. Call it craziness, call it idiocy, but it is simply sleep deprivation.

Hey, look it there! Sleep, dreams…. do I detect a theme? I do indeed. I once had a very interesting discussion with a teacher of mine, about how we seem to never be satisfied, and to always strive and hope for something else. He made his case, saying that we shouldn’t keep doing this, because it keeps us from appreciating what we have and living in the present. But, as I stated then, that is what keeps us going. We each have our own dream, and as we strive for it, we don’t neccesarily forget the importance of the present. No, we just have a reason to keep trying to better ourselves.

But we were both right. And both wrong. And both very pleased with the other’s counter-arguments.

Here comes the important line, folks, saddle up. We need to find the balance between the present, and the future. We need to appreciate what we have, yet hope for more. From this line, come two thoughts to mind. One, that that is quite difficult. It is a matter of balancing many things, which is a fine art and has never (in my opinion) been done. We are always leaning one way or another, and never absolutely, positutly, entirely satisfied. More on this later.

The second thought is this: where does the past come in to this equation? It affects the present, and the future, of course, but how much should we let it affect?

Now I know, I know, I’m bringing up too many philosophical questions, which don’t have a difinitive answer. To each his own, everyone needs to decide for themelves, yadda yadda yadda. I’m just puzzling over how. How do we make those decisions, how do we find the right balance, and how do appreciate what we have, how do we strive yet not forget ourselves in our striving (is that even a word?).

What I can think of right now, having written this in less than five minutes, organizes itself in my mind like this:

1. I am severely sleep deprived (a two-inch mosquito hiding in my room and my neighbor’s noisy nighttime generator take the blame for that one).

2. Having a dream is important to me. If I knew that I had reached everything I was destined to reach, I wouldn’t be able to keep myself going. The idea of someday doing what I love, of finding my soul mate, of starting a family, of making a difference, are what keep me working hard to build myself a future and make me who I am.

3. That I can’t make those decisions  by sitting in my room on a laptop. And, that those decisions aren’t just made. They come about. They aren’t even neccesarily  conscious thoughts, more of something that comes about and you just do something about them.

I do believe that dreams drive us forward, that they are important, and they could potentially save our lives. I also believe, that sometimes, you just have to let them go. But, unlike all the soap operas on tv (and I am pretty sure I have seen them all) that fact that you lost your dream doesn’t mean your life is over. It also doesn’t mean that your dream itself is lost. Anything can happen. We just have to believe. The melo-dramacy (I think that word is just a figment of my imagination) of our lives makes us think all of kinds of things and jump to conclusions very quickly. We just have to remember these things: we will find a balance somehow; we can have our dreams and the present at the same time; and we can puzzle these questions over and over, and stress over tha fact that we don’t have answers, but in the end, it will all work out. It is the beauty of life. Everything has a reason.

After this confusing and mind boggling mess of a sleep deprived girl’s thoughts, I take my humble leave.

Make sure to tell someone you love them today,


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